The Importance of Individuation

The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung coined a term he called individuation.

This is the process by which a child becomes individuated from their parents, siblings, friends, teachers, etc.

This process spikes between 12-18. You know, where we all become the “rebellious teenager.”

It’s a time where we realize that we’re our own person. We’re not solely an extension of our parents anymore.

And so we start experimenting. We start testing things.

Doing things differently, acquiring different personality styles, etc.

But see… something gets weird along the way.

It may happen earlier or later for certain people, but what happens is we realize that who we’re being naturally gets rejected, criticized, and made fun of in some sort of way.

And so begins the process of changing ourselves to accommodate the preferences and attitudes of others.

This effectively reverses the process of individuation.

We stop being ourselves, we stop being an individual, and begin living through and for others.

This results in someone who is afraid to be themselves, and spends all their energy being who they think others want them to be…

And it creates a vicious cycle of attracting people into our lives that like our performance, not us.

The idea here is to lean into individuation.

Lean into your differences, your opinions, your style, your interests.

Show up as an individual. As your own, free-standing person.

When it comes to attracting authentic friendships and relationships, and actually being respected in them, individuation is the key. 🔑

Don’t be afraid to be you. Lean into it. Embrace your innate differences. Become yourself.