Stop Being So Available...

My entire life changed when I learned how to say no.

For as long as I can remember, I was a people-pleaser. I was afraid of conflict.

I was afraid to voice how I felt if it meant bothering someone else.

And so I buried my feelings. I suppressed how I felt. I pretended I was okay with things that hurt me.

And I learned to keep my mouth shut. Because from an early age, I learned that if Devon shares how he feels, he gets in trouble.

So very quickly, I learned to not rock the boat.

And since I couldn’t create my own sense of worth and self-respect by standing up for myself, I had to resort to deriving that sense of worth through the validation and approval of others.

And how did I get that validation and approval? By abandoning myself again, and again, and again.

By playing small. By being quiet. By agreeing. By not taking up space.

This caused me to become accustomed to attracting leeches into my life, so that they could sap the energy from me, and so that I could live out my inner-fantasy of feeling worthy by getting them to love me.

But 9 months ago, I learned how to say no. And my life has completely transformed since that point.

I learned to love myself. I learned to choose myself, and prioritize ME. And what has come with that is a level of self-transformation that I could have never imagined possible.

Stop being available to everybody all the time. Stop saying yes when you really want to say no. Start being there for you.

Much love, Devon G.