NO CONTACT: The Real Way to Move on From Your Ex (or get them back)

NO CONTACT: the best way to move on from your ex (or get them back)…

Learning about no contact absolutely transformed my life. And if you’re going through a break up, I believe that it can transform yours too.

If you’ve never heard of it, “no contact” refers to cutting all ties with your ex.

No more texting. No more liking their posts. No more hanging out. No more asking mutual friends about them. No more watching their stories. Etc.

When you first hear this, your immediate reaction is, “what? That’s the WORST possible thing I could do.”

You think that it ruins your chances even more, and that they’ll think you don’t care, and they’ll forget about you, etc.

But it actually does the opposite.

Whether you’re trying to move on, or get them to come back, no contact is the best possible option.

Being friends is a no-go, and I’ll sum up why in a single sentence…

When you accept friendship with your ex, they don’t have to experience any sort of loss, and therefore they can’t (and won’t) miss you.

When you accept friendship, they don’t experience the consequences of breaking up with you.

See?

I know friendship seems like the “next best thing”, and that it seems like your best shot at getting back together with them. But it actually has the opposite effect.

Going no contact with your ex results in an IMMEDIATE reckoning.

It makes your ex feel the weight of their decision. “Oh, they’re actually gone…”

And it’s in that suspended silence that they reconsider things. Not in you begging and pleading for them to comeback.

Now, as far as moving on (which is ultimately what I’d want you to do, rather than waiting around for them to come back), no contact is STILL the superior option.

No contact allows you to detox from your ex. It gives your nervous system the true space it needs to begin experiencing a version of life that doesn’t include them. (I know, it sucks.)

If you’re in constant exposure to your ex; their photos, their posts, their stories, texting them, even HANGING OUT with them still… you never give yourself the true break you need.

And it only prolongs the pain.

If they broke up with you, you have to accept the breakup. As much as it sucks, it’s the best thing you can do to move on as quick as possible, and to also put yourself in the optimal position for them to realize their mistake.

No contact is not about getting them back. It’s about healing. An ex coming back is only an occasional side-effect of no contact, not the point itself.

So do it for you. I know it hurts, trust me… I’ve been there multiple times.

And as someone who has implemented no contact multiple times, trust me when I say: it works. ❤️