Lean into Being ‘Bad’

Fun fact: what the people-pleaser calls “being bad” is actually just being fair…

Think about it.

When you’re a people-pleaser, you feel:

• bad when you stand up for yourself

• bad when you disagree

• bad when you do what you want, instead of what someone else wants,

• bad when you set boundaries

Now realize this… everything you just read above is what the people-pleaser does effortlessly, happily, and almost impulsively for everybody else.

They cower and shrink for others. They don’t disagree. They do what everyone else wants. And they abandon their own boundaries to accommodate the boundaries and needs of others.

And in that, they feel safe.

Because for them:

Other’s are happy = safe ✅

Other’s are unhappy = NOT SAFE 🚩

This is why I encourage anybody with this people-pleaser dynamic to lean into the energy of being “bad”.

Because again, what the people-pleaser defines as “bad” isn’t actually bad, but is rather fair. Equal.

All it really is, at the end of the day, is extending the same compassion to yourself that you unrelentingly give to others…

It’s considering yourself as worthy of love, boundaries, and consideration.

If you don’t advocate for you… no one will.

You are your only spokesperson. And you have a voice.

Use it.

Lean into that energy of being “bad”, and you’ll start to learn what it means to actually be there for yourself.