Excess Importance is Why It’s Not Working

Have you ever noticed how the more important you make something, and the more you want it… the weirder you act?

Like when you have a job interview at the end of the week for a job you really want.

And instead of spending the week feeling excited, confident, inspired, and hopeful…

You get all in your head…

“What if I stumble over my words? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I’m not good enough? What if they hire someone else before me?”

And then you show up at the interview embodying that energy.

And lo and behold… they don’t hire you.

Or you’re out at a party and see that person you like…

And the perfect opportunity to ask them out opens up.

Instead of going and calmly and happily asking them out…

You get all in your head. You start hyping yourself up. You start feeling all this adrenaline, fear of rejection, feeling like you’re not cut out.

And then you awkwardly walk over to them and spark up conversation from a place of desperation and insecurity.

Here’s an example I experience sometimes when I’m playing my video game:

I’m doing really good. Full-on flow state. Having fun. Enjoying the moment.

And then I realize the match is about to end, and I’m about to win…

Suddenly, the stakes skyrocket, and I think “I better keep doing good.”

And boom… I lose.

What is this? What’s this all about?

In all these examples I shared, notice how the direct correlation between all of them is the level of importance you place upon the thing you want.

Because you want it so bad, you put it on a pedestal…

And you effectively put it out of your reach. You see yourself as someone incapable of attaining it because it’s “so special”.

The secret behind this is not to stop wanting it. Not to act like you don’t care. Not to “play it cool”.

But to lower the stakes.

You decrease the level of importance.

You start to normalize the energy of having that thing, or accomplishing that thing.

You make WINNING… natural.

You make having that thing… normal.

Rather than this wild, fantastic thing, it becomes normal.

And this allows you to relax. You chill out.

And in that, you operate smoothly, confidently, and with conviction.

This makes achieving that thing you want much more probable.

Because you’re not putting it up above you. You’re seeing yourself as someone who’s able to have it effortlessly.

So if you’re experiencing this to any extent…

Take that thing that you want so bad, that grandiose thing, and normalize it… let it be natural.

It will work wonders in your life.