Everyone Lied to You About Confidence

I’m just gonna lay it out. It’s not what you’ve been told it is.

It’s not this binary thing that you either have or don’t have based upon some sort of circumstance.

Whether that’s finances, a relationship, a career, your physical appearance, your education level, etc.

These things are NOT what determine confidence.

These are often things people chase because they think it will MAKE them more confident.

But confidence isn’t a reward that’s granted to you by acquiring some external thing or some social status.

Confidence is forged under pressure, and in the privacy of your own mind…

Confidence doesn’t mean you have it all together, never think badly of yourself, and constantly feel like you’re all that and a bag of chips…

Confidence means you CONFIDE IN… yourself.

You trust yourself.

You trust that when you say something, you mean it. Or when you plan to do something, you know you will.

You trust that you’re being honest with yourself and not feeding you and everyone around you LIES.

Here’s the paradox:

If you’re physically insecure, and you look in the mirror and hate what you see…

If in that moment—instead of pushing it away and ACTING confident (which is arrogance)—you say to yourself, “yeah, I feel insecure. I’m insecure about the way I look. What about it?”

My friend… that IS confidence.

By owning your lack of confidence, it transforms into confidence.

By running from your lack of confidence, you only make it worse.

A person who thinks they’re physically unattractive but OWNS it is infinitely more confident than a rich person who lives in a mansion because he needs that to feel like he’s valuable…

You see?

Confidence isn’t a predetermined thing that’s contingent on circumstances.

It’s a choice you make in owning where you’re at.

ANYONE can be confident. But what it takes is to accept the ugly parts of yourself. To get down and dirty with all the different levels of who you are.

And to own it. To accept it. And to keep going anyways.

That’s confidence.